I was not winning any races today. It took every ounce of energy I had to get out to Versailles in this bone chilling weather- as I drug my feet all morning. It’s hard not to feel “dutiful” when you are on “vacation”… at home I’d be curled up in bed with a book all day, but in Paris? You brave whatever forecast you’ve drawn and don’t forget your mittens!
I started out my morning/mid-morning/noon with a giant Starbucks latte (first of the trip) that made me feel 15 times better, even though it was gone before I walked out the door. I grabbed a ham, mozzarella and tomato Panini from a guy with HUGE veneers and a street wagon and headed underground. While I was waiting for the train to Versailles, I turned around and there was a large, black face hovering over my right shoulder, breathing in my ear. I felt like I was in Alien 2. Completely startled, I hissed at him and he SLOWLY backed up. What a freak! He freakin’ scared me… and p.s. south-western Paris looks like south-central Los Angeles.
Thirty minutes later I was booking it up the hill to the Chateau de Versailles. Have I mentioned that is sub-arctic temps here? It would be a test to get me to SKI in this air! Once in, I found myself in front of some very impressive paintings, but more importantly the work that had heating vents below them. Louis XIV was not an attractive man in the LEAST bit and his “bitches and hoes” looked like they’d been ridden hard and put away wet. Pale faced and chubby wearing ludicrous wigs, their only glimmer were their pearls. It IS true that money can buy you happiness because these people were the most unfortunate of the fortunate. Big Lu was very self-absorbed, as he had paintings of himself EVERYWHERE… “I want one of me facing east, and then another where I’ve rotated 45 degrees north-east, and then another where I’ll switch my hand position and my hat, and then another….” Seriously, he, his double chin and his brown curly coif were as arrogant and pretentious as they come! I don’t know why they haven’t done a Mystery Science Theater of Versailles paintings. The facial expressions and body positions in some scenes are hilarious! You’d think that for as long as it took the artists to create these, they wouldn’t make the center figure look like he has to fart.
The chateau/palace/cabin really was amazing- the ceiling frescos were most impressive. After my brain had thawed, it was all I could do to get out of there because the entire country of China decided to have a field trip- and they take pictures of EVERYTHING. From the velvet ropes to the SORTIE (exit) signs to the dust bunnies- they don’t want to miss a thing! I walked through the yards and gardens until I was fed up with the gale force winds. You’d think I’d be used to this, coming from Montana, but it is frigid. I walked back into town and wanted to find a café to warm up in- shouldn’t be hard- well, it was and I had to ask for directions back to the train station. “Fredrick” knew as much English as I know French, so I pulled my middle school cheerleading moves out of my bag-o-tricks (I never made the team) and did a charades skit on “Bang-Bang Choo-Choo Train” that worked like a charm. “Oui!!!” He walked me to the station, speaking French the entire time… I just nodded and laughed. He was probably telling me that he had just found his deceased mother in her house, with her 11 cats eating her face.
Speaking of, back at the mother ship, I decided to stay “in” for the evening and make dinner, so I picked up some fois gras and smoked salmon (cheap!), dijon mustard and goat cheese. I ran by PAUL’s and picked up a pretzel looking loaf of olive bread- TA’ DIE FOR- and had a lovely little montage of French culinary delights. My landlord “J.J.” stopped by to meet me and check in. He is a musician and his wife is an artist (paintings in the flat- very good), both very nice people. They never took a deposit out and told me to leave “rent “ on the table when I leave- pretty trusting. I appreciate there are still people like that (granted they have all my credit card information…) Read ANOTHER book on France- a little research on Dijon and Nice, my next stops of the journey.
Luigi and Roo don’t want to leave, and I’m afraid neither do I. A few more days in this wonderful city (with my friend Michael who flies in tomorrow!) and I’m off to wine country. I’m going to put on every article of clothing I packed and brave the cold another day.
Stay warm, Au revoir!
I hope Michael has been reading your blog! He should pack a little something extra warm for you (as well as himself!) I wish you had been with us when we visited Versailles, I'm afraid we were a bit like the Chinese (except we obeyed ALL the rules) when it came to taking photos! Your descriptions were a riot!
ReplyDeleteAhh Whit. Your descriptions are such fun. The first time I was at Versailles was in the cold and rain too... poor you -- you prolly had to miss the cute little peasant village that Marie had made for her pretend games, because it is a long ass walk. Your descriptions of Louis cracked me up - yea, what a rotten deal Marie got, no wonder she turned to shoes and hairdos-- she had to out'do' her freakazoid husband!
ReplyDelete'Frederic', aside from telling you about his mother's face was more than likely telling you how you have never had 'it' until you have had 'it' with a Frenchman and that he knew a nice warm corner behind the john ...or some other such tripe! I was in Paris for 4 months at age 18... learned all kinds of 'language'. My sweet but very worldly savvy French teacher at the Alliance Francais told me that when I had had enough and all normal name calling did not turn them off, to just refer to their nose as reminiscent of some part of a dogs face in polite tones and I would soon see their backside. Funny, funny schtuff.
Look forward to pictures!