DAY 26: How Dolce of you...

NOT GONNA LIE: I am jealous of myself right now. I must have done something right in my past life to deserve this one... I fell in love 18 times today. Primarily with Italia itself, secondly with sapphire eyes set in cocoa lashes and olive skin... I might be in BIG trouble...

I took a cattle car full of adolescents and white heads- sans ventilation holes. Why would anyone desire to be a middle school teacher? It's like voluntary punishment- I would rather walk to Milan with Luigi and Roo, in a bathing suit, in a hail storm than get paid to be a glorified babysitter for pubescent snots. It was Sweet Valley High on wheels... Winding along the Mediterranean, I fell asleep to surfers in Monaco and woke up to snow blanketing rice fields in Ventimiglia. I ran in to grab a quick bite before my next train left and realized I knew ZERO Italian. I had to stand in line, to buy a ticket, to buy a sandwich, but had to spend at least 10 euros, so four bottles of water and a capri-sando later, I jumped back into Sweet Valley High, only to sit for an hour while the driver sobered up. Six hours later I reached Milan, and was met by "Manu"- a friend of friend- who lives in a small village north of the city. He works in the fashion industry, speaks excellent English and might be my new BFF- top drawer fellow.... He picked me up in the Mini Coop and took me to "The best sandwich shop in Milan," Panino Giusto... the famous Tartufo was money- parma ham, brie cheese, tomatoes, arugula and truffle oil- hello yum... We then drove to the center of the city to check out Alexander McQueen, DSquared (new fave) and the Duomo (great combo, eh?) and decided to have drinks at Georgio Armani (all the flagships have POSH bars, restaurants, hotels and discos- most exceed a whole block). Italian's LOVE their food (maybe I'm Italian?) and give you "snacks" when you order drinks... Nobu (superior Japanese food) is Georgie's resto upstairs, so they presented us with boxes of sushi. I introduced Manu to a "Dirty Bird" (dirty grey goose martini) at Dolce and Gabbana, and again, we received mini-sandos and tasty morsels- you don't even need to eat dinner when crawling fashionably  from pub to pub... before heading up to the village, he took me to a great concept store called Corso Como 10 with a fabulous "secret" garden bar. Italians are soooo creative and detail oriented with everything from glassware to plantware to underwear- I am in heaven. Except that I felt like a homeless gypsy walking into couture in my campers and day-old, stale hair... you just can't have it all...

Graglia is a small village at the base of the Alps... it was 10 pm, so I was unable to take in the magnificence, but I loved winding up the road and seeing lights scattered up the mountain- it was like a sky full of stars from the ground up. The fog was tremendous outside the city, but disappeared when our elevation increased. I met "Miura (Lu-Lu)" his fat bulldog and we "pre-gamed" at his beautiful flat before going to meet the gang at "Pluto's," a pub with two Chinese teenagers slinging German beer, in the next town, Biella. "Grandpa, Doc, Pacco, and Albertone" were all bellied up to the bar (Sneezy and Happy couldn't make it...), eating up Manu's story about how he was "just driving by the train station and decided to pick me up..." when they asked how we knew each other. We continued our late night excursion to a few more bars with Alberto (hilarious) and ended the night at a club packed full of people around 3 am... but not before mowing down a "hot dog" from a cart in the court yard. Mustard, grilled peppers, sour kraut and sausage has never tasted so good between two pieces of, you guessed it:  bread. P.S. That was my 3rd, count it THIRD, sandwich of the day. Or first since it was really Sunday morning... regardless, I'll be sans sandos for awhile.

Just another day at the office, kind of a boring (yeah right).... this is your host, Lucky B!tch , signing off from the happiest place on earth... Mickey Mouse is full of shit... Arividerchi!