DAY 46: UnCONVENTional

Had the best night of sleep EVER last night… “Abdul” must’ve slipped some opium in my grapefruit sherbet because Dorothy and I frolicked with Toto through the poppy fields of Oz. Took a run along the Tiber River with Katie this morning… light sprinkling of rain, perfect in t-shirts and shorts. The water is a contaminated cess-stream of watered down diarrhea… you would definitely grow some tentacles and extra eyeballs if you fell in… must be where they got the idea for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Thankfully I stretched my ligaments out from rolling my ankles in basketball, I can’t hurt them if I tried… I almost fell down three times hurdling over broken sidewalks with tree roots jutting up. Breakfast at the hotel is pretty ehhh… I don’t trust things that come in individual plastic packages, especially bread… so it was yogurt and coffee for me.

There is a very special exhibit of Caravaggio’s greatest works, from museums around the world, all in an old horse barn. Yep, right where the royal mews grazed and neighed… evident by the wide staircases that spiral up for thoroughbreds to trot up to the second floor. This guy died when he was 39 and almost all of his work was painted in a 10-year period… Out.Stand.Ing. His still life’s of food look like photographs… you just want to grab an apple out of the basket and take a big bite. Brow wrinkles and leaf veins, oh baby, oh baby. Because he was young, he enjoyed portraying lively, young people with amazing emotion and animation…  He is synonymous for his “darks”- heavy black background with his figures centralized and lit up from within. My favorite thing about his style is that the light source is never actually known- it is never IN the actual painting. My second favorite thing is that he and Serena Williams would get along like peas and carrots- he KILLED a man during a tennis match! Serena chew’s broads up and spits them out like Bubbleyum everyday, but I can only imagine what some guy did to piss Caravaggio off enough to be murdered over a game of tennis. I’m as competitive as they come, but I don’t think I could beat someone to a pulp with a Wilson… half of Rome decided to show up to see Carvy and pushing through chillin and oldies made me feel like I was playing rugby against blind kids… I don’t want to shove, but they don’t move! And then rounding up the whole group to leave is a treat… “Doesn’t play well with others” should be on my business card. (that’d bring clients in the door) I don’t do well in group settings… from field trips in 4^th grade to Jellystone to field trips 15 years later in Rome- my dominance takes over and I feel like I’m herding cats…

Speaking of cats… seagulls have over run the pigeons and cats have over run the seagulls. I watched a man ride his bike through a square, with a fat, yellow cat on his shoulders… he got off, put down his bike and threw “Puss&Boots” on a leash! He just layed in the sun while paparazzi snapped mug shots… Now that the wolf pack know how much I loath dirty birds- let me clarify: I LOVE dirty birds, when they involve Grey Geese… not Grey Pigeons… they run and stomp pigeons in my direction so they fly directly at my face… evil. I grabbed a piece of mushroom pizza and sat on the Spanish Steps, basking in the sun with 4,500 other people. Word to the wise, if you aren’t in the mood to be around people, DON’T spend the day in the heart of Rome. After walking around to find closed churches (every one we walked to was on “siesta”… God has to eat lunch too…), we decided to bag it and found a wine bar called ‘Gusto. “The Harv” joined 5 of us girls and we talked shop- make-up, fashion, Johnny Depp… all his favorite topics. After some yummy Aglianico Del Taburno, we strolled home in the sun and passed out at the hotel for 3 hours- much needed snooze….

Only to wake up in a Convent. No, I’m wasn’t dreaming… we literally walked down a few blocks to have dinner, (breath in) with NUNS. Apparently you can stay there, eat there, pray there, git yer hair did there… “Harvitron” made reservations in the basement (I really wish I could look inside all of your heads right now and see what kind of picture you are painting of this scenario…) and we feasted on, to start: soup- lentil-ish puree with noodles… surprisingly tasty. Second: fried fish with fried mashed potato tubes (basically mushy tater tots)… not tasty, surprisingly. Third: grilled cheesy fennel and salad… ehhh. Finally: crème puffs and an orange. The nuns were very friendly and attentive- happy to be doing what they were doing… I was having torrential stomach pains from all the dairy I’m stubbornly weaning myself off of. Called it a night, can’t keep up with all these young pups J

Villa Bourgese (huge park, zoo, lake, etc.) tomorrow, supposed to be B-E-A-Utiful! Ciao!