DAY 72, 73, 74: Do you… Bidet?

What I would give for Febreeze:

-pick of the litter from my ant farm

-the wig my 12’ of golden locks made

-a Baby Ruth with Italian nutrition facts

-my double chin (bargain, I know)

-keys to my old house on Oliver Street

-signed photo of Wolf Blitzer at Burning Man

Febreeze is the lazy man’s Tide and I would love to spritz my life into a lilac euphoria right now… I am so picky about separating my colors, but unfortunately, that got flushed down the bidet along with my sparkling whites… everything is a dull, wrinkled mess. **Please excuse this program interruption for a brief Did You Know? moment, brought to you by Charmin: Bidet, translating to  “pony” in French, is a low-mounted plumbing fixture or type of sink intended for washing the genitalia, inner buttocks and anus. Thank you.** Does it count if I wash my underwear in the bidet? I’ll stick with the P-T thanks. As I was saying,  neutral would be a generous description for my shirts tonal evolution and disgusting as this is, I have washed my jeans ONCE. Yeah, if I saw me 3 months ago NOW, I wouldn’t know me. Not sure that made sense but my point is, my exterior life is taking place in that dirty dry cleaners without ironing boards, a place I never thought I’d see. Funny thing is, I don’t really mind… I figure if I don’t care, why should anyone else? Yes I'm still single...

Another grouper- I ordered a combo meal of Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, with a side of carbohydrates. The weekdays are a little grim… my pseudo routine here at the villa has begun, uber boring, but I’ll share regardless…

72-Weds: Early to rise for yogurt, banana and coffee… drew a set of drums for 3 hours, spheres and cylinders SUCK btw… lunch was more pasta with tom sauce and little parsley and onion quiches… walked up to Corciano after lunch to sketch for another few hours… went for a 4 mile run before dinner with a bunch of Italian students (dinner, not the run) from the art academy in Perugia, none of which spoke English, so you can imagine how much fun we had… early to bed.

73-Thurs: Slept in (class started later because of the party last night, that I left early from)… breakfast of champions included berry yogurt mixed with corn flakes… edited photos for 2 hours… lunch was salad with artichoke pesto over fettuccini and 2 blood oranges… walked up to Corciano again to sketch a landscape… came back to find clothes sopping wet in the dryer, read: super stoked… went on a 5.5 mile run before dinner… have become accustomed to stretching in the neighbors front yard (castle that over looks the valley)- really loving watching the sun set in downward dog… dinner was mushroom & sausage penne in broth with breaded pork and jojo fries… I’ve gotten really good at picking out the veggies, cutting things up and moving it around my plate so it looks like I ate more- can’t handle anymore pasta…

74-Fri: Slept in again- no class on Fridays (rigorous schedule, I know)… peach yogurt with corn flakes today, and as always, a bucket of coffee… screwed around all morning- wrote, cleaned my room, changed a light bulb, didn’t need help doing it… lunch was salad and pasta, yet again- my nickname changed from ‘The Big Typewriter” to the “Salad Whore”… went on a 4 mile run through Corciano this afternoon and stopped at the grocery on my way back down for some bananas and apples… screwed around some more before dinner- clipped my toenails, plucked my eyebrows, put on some lotion, yawned, wondered why I yawned because I’ve accomplished nil today, wondered if there are bidets in Italian prisons, or in ambulances- could a bidet save a life?… dinner was angel hair with pasta and bread crumbs and fish with salad (Friday- no meat)… wrote  and did a little more of nothing before bed… I won’t lie, it was nice to not have to go anywhere this weekend- I chose to save some dough and chill out.

So, more exciting stuff from Umbria valley tomorrow, I know you can hardly wait. Trips elsewhere are upon us, so Blond Voyage will kick it up a notch… Ciao!