DAY 86, 87, 88: Silver Badgers

Ibitha, Thpain PART II:

Ibiza is the 3^rd largest of the Balearic Islands, off the southern coast of Spain, known for summer club parties. Umbrellas in drinks being drunk under umbrellas by tanned topless touristas flirting with fellow foxy foreigners… sounds like a blast to me! Too bad it’s April 7^th…

86: Jumped out of bed at 9:30am, ready to conquer the day… blasted 4 miles on the beach and came back to cut up an apple and a banana, throw it in a bowl with some yogurt and call it breakfast. The gang walked up to Ibitha Town, while I stayed to hang by the pool and listen to my own thoughts… until “Horus & Borus,” the British silver-badgers (not foxy) pranced out with their matching striped beach towels and semi-mullets. They assessed the “scene” with hands-on-hips before nestling in side-by-side in their beach chairs, hand-in-hand. Precious moments… soon interrupted by a young girl walking into the (freezing) pool, popping a squat and peeing! Right in front of her mother (who probably told her to do it)… definitely the Mexi-Reno of Spain. Clouds started to roll in, and the entertainment died down, so I walked into town to check out some stores and grab a latte. A few hours later I walked back to make some dinner- lentils with zucchini, garlic, ham and eggs... not bad considering my ingredients… I would dominate Iron Chef Espana. We played Presidents & Assholes (drinking card game) late into the evening…

87: Slept in and walked to town for a fatty coffee- possibly the best part of Ibitha! Walked in and out of shops all morning- a lot of cute little places… very touristy of course, but I found some gemstones and met some cool storeowners. At 2pm I realized I hadn’t eaten yet (God forbid!) and stopped at a posh resto called Central Park 53. I sat alone, in the empty dining room for 1 of 4 reasons: 1-it’s siesta, so everyone is taking their mid-day nap. 2-I'm a loser. 3- the place just opened so maybe people didn’t know they were open. 4- because Toni Braxton music videos were being played on repeat on the  TV’s lining the walls. Call me crazy, but I’m going with numero tres… “You Mean The World To Me” was barely tolerable in 1993.  I was convinced “Todd” the owner, who also waited on me, had heterosexual affections for Toni, and this was something new and different for him. FABULOUS! What was even more fabulous was the gazpacho served in a champagne flute followed by shrimp and veggie wok… great chef, but I’m sure he wanted to blow his brains out when “Todd” hit repeat on the DVD player. I hung out and wrote for another hour before walking back to lay by the pool. We watched “Taken” and “The Dark Knight” before hitting the hay. Another rough day on the island…

88: Up at 9:30 to put in my last 6 mile run on the beach… apple and yogurt for breaky before walking into town with the crew for coffee. Pursued a bit before heading back to the pool… just as I was falling asleep in 70 degrees, Jessie came down to inform me “We need you.” Apparently the hotel only had us booked through Friday instead of Saturday, and the “helpful” woman at the front desk was demanding/wondering why we weren’t out of our rooms.  Because I handle confrontation so lightly and willingly, the girls voted I should figure this "situation" out. Short story long, when the initial reservation was changed from 5 to 6 people, they subtracted a day in the 2nd reservation, which we never caught/checked, since naturally, we assumed they would keep the same dates. Well, they didn’t and we had 5 minutes to pack our sh!t and boogie… I walked down the street from hotel to hotel asking if they had availability and got a whole lot of “We booked full through Abril.” Finally, behind a pizzeria was a hostel that had rooms- which can be a total gamble, but I figured what the hell, it’s this or the bus station. Turns out, this place was WAY better than ghetto fabulous palace down the street that smelled like urine, refused to give us soap and had lumpy pillows. P.S. “Lumpy” and “pillow“ should never be in the same sentence together, ever.  We rated it a third of a star out of 5… after checking out, checking in and dropping our junk off, cold brewskies were what needed to happen next- no questions asked. We came across a cheap little grocery store, made our adult beverage purchases and headed to the beach.  A few hours in the sun and sand with drink in hand worked up an appetite, so we found a great bistro close by with the best meal we’ve all had in weeks, served by Johnny Depp and Colin Farell. I ordered Dolmas- grape leaves stuffed with Ratatouille over Mediterranean couscous and fresh tzatziki sauce- Ta'Die. Instead of dessert, we celebrated our last night in Ibitha with martinis and shots of homemade Absinthe, courtesy of Johnny and Colin. Back to our nice little hostel with a great last day behind us. Returning to Rome and on to Corciano tomorrow, ciao!