DAY 60: Wolfpack "Rome-ing" the Desert...

Today I am going to the zoo. And by zoo I mean I am going to meet "Animal" and "Rabbit," two of my best girlfriends from college (the 1st go-round)... and when the 3 of us get together, we ought to be locked away in a monkey cage. Here's a little introduction to these two hooligans:

Ann "Animal" Annie Vincent, now Davey:

I met Annie sophomore year, circa 2003, during a session of "Power Hour" at Rabbit's casa... after 60 shots of Pabst Blue Ribbon (shot-o-beer each minute for an hour, cued by a tasty montage of Whitesnake & Bon Jovi) without "breaking the seal" (peeing), we knew then and there that we were destined to be friends. In '04 Annie and I moved into 510 W. Hayes followed by 2607 Rose Street the next year where we had absolutely NO fun at all... It's a miracle we even graduated. Unforgettable (or forgettable) memories of throwing the best Homecoming parties in Bozeman, getting robbed, cooking feasts followed by food fights, countless eggs & kegs stand contests... somehow managing to never get arrested... I take full responsibility for setting she and her husband up (you only say that when they end up together...) and was a completely responsible bridesmaid in their wedding 2 summers ago. Little Annie-Are-You-OK will graduate with a Law degree from Laramie, Wyoming in May, after which she and "Silly Philly" will reside in Jackson Hole.

Jennifer "Rabbit" Joy Jourdonnais, soon to be Dunning:

To this day, Rab and I cannot recall the 1st time we met freshman year, but we tangled our webs tightly and never seemed to let go. She is quite possibly, THE funniest person I know... My "Tiny Dancer" who cheered me on during my MSU Basketball games, usually sticking her pom-pom up my ass while I took the ball out of bounds, telling me my fly was down. Numerous outings involved floating the Madison River, stock car races, hiking the M bright and early after a football game celebration and of course, dance parties GALORE. I'll bear witness to her "I-Do's" in August to Kyle, whom she met in "Kill Adelphia" whilst plugging knife wounds and attending to LaFonda's anal leakage (she should write a book JUST on her two years in the Philly ER). Now residing in Kansas City, I am forced to phone her for a fix of Oscar worthy Tracy Lawrence impressions.

So with that, you can imagine how the reunion of the "Brainiac Brunette," "5'2" Comedian" and 6'2" Blond with a hollow leg" will play out... In Italy of all places...

"The Harv" is taking his spring break this week in Brussels, so we rode the train together to Rome, after Rosella kindly dropped us ("The Harv," Luigi, Trixie & myself) off in Perugia. After 3 hours of lovely laughter and conversation, we arrived in Rome Termini just in time for a rain storm and a strike... we went our separate ways (I told him not to do anything I wouldn't do) and I waited for the train employees to put their pants back on and get to work... I had places to go and people to see. Unfortunately 5,000 other people did too, so we all packed into the metal fart coffin like bodies in the catacombs, though I imagine dead people smell better than the pulses surrounding me. It took all the strength I had to squeeze through the metro doors- I felt like I was passing through a time warp and Luigi was getting suctioned back into 1997 while I swam through a mist of skin cells in the underworld of 2010. Finally, the Michael J. Fox in me jumped onto the platform with Team Blond Voyage in tow, gave a head nod to "Doc" and found the Uscita (exit).

I met Annie at Hotel King, right around the corner from the Barberinni Metro stop... we settled in a bit and decided to wait for Rabbit at a little patio outside the Metro stop, with a glass of red. There was no sign of Rabbit, so back to King we skipped to wait in the hotel bar. 2 glasses of wine and a bowl of peanuts (with the skin) later, still no Rabbit. She was supposed to arrive at 2pm. It is now 6:30 pm and we are getting hungry... we left a note with "Huey" (of Huey, Dewy and Looey) and went to find some pizza at Olympio Pizzeria a few blocks away. We started with marinated artichokes and Ann got an anchovy pie (say that 3 times fast) while I got my typical veggie. We picked up Perugina chocolate and Prosecco to celebrate Rab's arrival, but still no word from the little turd... another note left and out on the town we cruised, down the Spanish Steps and by Numb where "Freddie" persuaded us to sit outside while he treated us to champagne and strawberries. Later we walked to the Trevi Fountain and found some almond and coconut gelato before hitting up an Irish Pub and giggling our way back to the hotel around midnight where there was still NO Rabbit!

Visions of seahorses and Turkish delight danced in my head when... KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.... hopefully it wasn't "Dewy" because I answered the door in my underwear.... RABBITO! I gave her an ass-out hug and invited her into the brothel. Annie was prancing in Vinoland and mumbled greetings to Rab after asking her why she didn't bring more eye shadow options... the tripod is back in action! We fell into comas at a hair past a stretch mark (that's 2:30 a.m. for those of you that don't speak fat...). Big day ahead of us tomorrow- Rome won't know what hit 'em! Ciao ciao ciao!